Woman is looking for a new husband. First husband hit her, second husband ran around with other woman & the third husband was shite in bed.
She puts an advert in the Post Office window…”Wanted, husband that doesn’t hit me, doesn’t run around after other women and is good in bed”.
Weeks go by and she hears nothing, then one day the doorbell goes, she goes to the door and there’s a guy on her doorstep sat in a wheelchair with no arms & no legs.
She says “can I help you?”
He says “I’ve come about your advert in the Post Office window”.
She says “great”.
He says “I’ve got no arms so I can’t hit you and I’ve got no legs so I can’t run around after other women”.
She thinks for a minute and says “that’s great but what about the bit about being good in bed?”.
He says “I rang the doorbell didn’t I”.
Not only did I laugh way too long and hard at this but I also laughed from my gut at a booger joke my seven year old told me today. It WAS funny but I think it’s because I’m just happy and in love. When I’m happy, things are funnier, life’s not so dire and solutions are at my fingertips.
When I was in my twenties and suffering from fairly bad depression, I used to think that if I was moany and sad people would come and want to help me. I thought that because my mother was a therapist and it was a way for her to feel connected to me; by indulging my sad and monay side so she could analyze and help me and then I’d be indebted to her. Mothers and daughters, right? Well, other people aren’t your therapist mother and they didn’t want to help me. I ended up becoming the person who helped the moany and sad people. Guess what? It ultimately made me more moany and sad.
My old friend Larry Dean point blank told me back in those days that he didn’t want to hang around with me because I was too sad. I was shocked! Why wouldn’t people want to help? They don’t. Most don’t anyway. It’s up to us and a few close friends and family members to make it better. Kids help. Love helps. I have those and it’s good.