No person could save another.
–Joyce Carol Oates
We encounter the experiences we need in our lives. It’s sometimes hard to believe that when we’re grappling with disappointment, anger, or loss. Yet everything that comes our way is material for our growth.
Many of us entertain a fantasy that some person can complete us. We don’t believe that we’re complete in ourselves. Only when we do will we become able to share in a life-enhancing partnership with another person. Only when we love ourselves can we love others realistically, instead of seeing them as fantasy figures, projections of our own desire.
No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow the hurt. We’re full partners in everything that we do, and taking responsibility for our actions and our desires is our first step toward being fully lovable.