Going to Hell in a Handcart

I don’t know if it’s hormones or less self-obsession as I get older but the world is bringing me to tears lately. As a self-professed information junkie, I read many newspapers a day and visit websites of magazines, newspapers, gossip sites, etc…Honestly, I have a pain in my heart all day long.

I don’t need to mention Hamas and Israel. It’s hard to even understand such depravity of human life from both sides. Children, by the hundreds are being killed. How is this being allowed?

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Has anyone looked further for the Nigerian schoolgirls? Many of their parents have died of grief. Lord knows what their plight is now. Boko Harum is allowed to do such horrible things to such innocent families? I hate to sound this right-wing, but where are the US special ops who undoubtedly can find this group and disable them?

Clearly commercial airplanes are being shot out of the sky killing innocent civilians and the investigators cannot get to the crash site for weeks because of constant war and when they arrive the ‘crime’ zone is practically cleaned up. This is possible? The fish obviously stinks from the head Mr. Putin.

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I watched “Beyond Scared Straight” on television the other day; some teens (one eleven years old) on the wrong path being sent to prison for the day, screamed at by guards and lifers, murderers, telling them if they come to prison they’re going to rape them and kill them, “Don’t end up like me”. I was sobbing from the comfort of my crime free livingroom. Not only for the kids on the wrong path but for hardened criminals (born innocent) being cajoled to break these kids down to little babies so they don’t end up like them.

Parents who desert their children, kill them so the other parent cannot have them in custody fights, leave them in the hot car (dogs too!), in the care of nannies for days (ok, could be worse), this aggressive and passive neglect of care for human life; for some reason it is infiltrating the hard core of my heart and it is tearing it apart.

I cannot look at another child carried from the rubble in Hamas. I don’t care about the country’s illegal tunnels. This is not a political issue for me; I am Jewish and I believe in the Israeli state as much as I don’t believe in senseless killing of civilians. I cannot watch people hurting other people at the height of society to the depths of poverty. The world has gone to hell in a handcart. No one is immune. People think they have the right to do whatever they like without repercussion and IT JUST IS NOT SO. People are dying, families broken apart in the smallness of an extra marital affair to the massive crush of war.

I find myself sobbing at the notion that people are hurt, on all levels of hurt and I cannot look at the news. Every piece of drivel in the Daily Mail is a story about someone being harmful to someone. The New York Times, reporting the news in the political scheme of things is full of stories of rage and hate. The world is angry and nothing is being done to stop it.

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How many shoot outs at college campuses or shopping malls can we take? Nothing is being done to stop them and honestly, though guns are obviously a huge factor, the true cause of this is unbridled anger. Uncontrolled rage. Inability to suppress human  impulse. No one is dealing with this in the real world and it is a massive killer.

Lately, even the gossip sites make my heart hurt. I know, sounds slight and fanciful, but these are people too and their fame and wealth make them think they’re invincible. Zac Efron, who’s been in rehab for drugs and drinking which he says he does because of the pressure of his fame, is hanging out with a notorious addict on vacation. Sobriety gone. Even the saga of Beyonce and Jay-Z; is their marriage going to break up due to his incessant cheating, blah blah ….do you know how stressful something like this is on a family, whether true or not? Yes, I’m sure they’re taking comfort in their private jet and $12 million NYC penthouse, but still.

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Peaches Geldolf who, as an American I barely knew, overdosed on heroin while her toddler hung around for almost a day. This in itself is horrible enough but why did the father who knew his wife was back on drugs, allow the child to stay in her care while taking the other child to stay with his mother? To me this is practically depraved indifference. People are oblivious and lazy, people think it won’t happen to them, people don’t think about other people. End of story. People show themselves to you right away. Someone who steals your husband has done it before. We cringe and moan  but why be shocked, this is who they are. Israel and the Palestines have been at this for years – why shouldn’t it get worse if it ever gets better? What about the archaic treatment of women in the Congo, in basic Middle Eastern society, where women are sentenced to death for refusing to marry a 85 year old cousin instead of the man they loves – this has been happening for years – no one stops it. Angelina Jolie may talk about it and raise awareness but nothing stops. Nothing stops.

A child is killed by a neighbor for trespassing on his lawn. Anger. Pure and simple. Self-righteous indignation. Countries, military factions, a small town woman taking another’s husband, wanting what they want because they should have it. th-6

Killing a teenager because they talked back or a boy killing a group of college students because he felt slighted by them. Just because. Because they didn’t get enough attention in childhood, because they feel they should have the right to take and kill anyone who doesn’t believe with their God or the way they think of something. Because someone, obviously, has not been paying close attention.

I cried yesterday while watching a story on TV about a woman with two kids who cannot stop getting put in prison because she felt she didn’t have enough of a childhood and she wants it now so she and her fiance robbed a store like Bonnie & Clyde. She has two kids and has been sentenced to another seven years in prison. These kids have no parents. She sobbed, grateful that her mother was raising the kids so they wouldn’t know they had such a terrible mother. Guess what, they know. In the next scene she was joking with the prison guard. Whatever you have to do to get by. I was sobbing. Is anyone thinking of the future? Is anyone thinking of anyone but themselves? Of consequences? Of the children?

I feel as though I am writing a letter to my son, aged (almost) 7, begging him to listen or the consequences will be something he doesn’t like. Last week he had his computer taken away. Will it help? Who knows.

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What are the consequences of these atrocities of the small town affair and the bombing of a UN school killing innocent children? Loss, and then, again, more anger. And the child being left with the nanny, in the plush fancy home in North London with every toy he could want for. Watch out for that kid, cause he’s learning a lesson about himself and his worth and what his parents think of him right now and it’s not going to go away just like that. We are all in great danger of our world big and small right now.

I was in need recently and I asked for help. For something to help, not to solve world peace. To have peace in my world because that’s where I can start. I was both amazed at the generosity of friends (and disappointed by the absolute lack of care of others). Little things like helping one another helps and inspires trust in the world where there seems to be so little. Just enough trust to keep waking up and getting on with it. There are people in horrible pain both emotional and physical, whose homes are under attack, whose world rests on the head of a pin, who get blindsided by deception and cruelty. We must continue to support and help one another, on big levels and small, to stem this anger and rage the world is full of. Give to the arts, create something beautiful, love someone, think of someone and reach out and let your voice be heard. Sometimes that small voice can become a bigger one and progress can be made. But it takes a village and it starts at home.

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